Andrew J. Lederer's BRAND NEW LIFE

When I returned to Los Angeles stand-up after a multi-year break in 1996, I made great creative progress very fast because I determined that the social aspect of the then-burgeoning alternative scene would not distract me. I simply wouldn’t care if I was included in gatherings or loved or liked or understood or respected other than creatively (if that). It worked!

And then I cared.

And was undone.

Fortunately, a return to New York stand-up over the last three weeks, though more limited in scope, has given me an opportunity to be better than I was at that time. I have been strong, confident and self contained. Except for yesterday, when I realized on the subway toward Manhattan that I cared. Socially. Again.

And when I went on, I was something a gibbering mess.

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