Andrew J. Lederer's BRAND NEW LIFE

I dreamed a quite attractive woman wanted me to kiss her. There was a hint of menace in her insistence, even as I demurred.

Ineptly explaining my resistance while vainly attempting to get away,  I could not admit the real reason for my reluctance to stick my tongue in her mouth.

She was — and she knew this, it’s just that I feared introducing it as an issue — a plant.

How much easier would my life have been if my mother had let me drink from other kids’ soda cans?

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