Andrew J. Lederer's BRAND NEW LIFE

Some of my best Oscar nights have been ones where I resisted the conformist urge to view and did things that actually benefited me, like the one when I went to a clinic to check out a growth on my head or the time I went to perform at a bookstore in Santa Monica, stealing a (tiny) portion of spotlight for myself instead of orgasming over the triumphalism of those who care for and know me not.

Actually, the place didn’t have a spotlight.

Of course, there are many reasons to avoid the Oscars, but the one with most meaning for the motion picture industry is that the Oscars are killing their business. The internationally ogled telecast is not an awards show, it is a cavalcade of spoilers, strangling Hollywood.

After all, movies are expensive and most people wait to see them until they can do so in the most…

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